GOOD ONE LINERS!!!

One Liners!!! Too Good!!!

· Dad: Son, what do you want for your birthday? Son: Not much, Dad, just a radio with a sports car around it!

· Living on Earth may be expensive, but it includes annual free trip around the Sun.

· Your future depends on your dreams, so go to sleep.

· Can you do anything that other people can’t? Sure, I can read my handwriting!

· A drunk was hauled into court. “Mister,” the judge began, “you’ve been brought here for drinking.” “Great,” the drunk exclaimed, “When do we get started?”

· Whom are you working for? Same people. My wife and four kids.

· Alcohol kills slowly. So what? Who is in a hurry?

· Work fascinates me. I can look at it for hours!

· God made relatives; thank God, we can choose our friends!

· I heard you have a cat that can say her own name. Yes, Meow.

· Divorce has become so common that my wife and I are staying married just to be different.

· When a wife was asked, “What book does you like best?” she answers: “My husband’s cheque book.”

· Girlfriend: “And are you sure you love me and no one else?” Boyfriend: “Dead sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday.”

· Waiter: Would you like your coffee black? Customer: What other colours do you have?

· My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called current affairs.

· Teacher: Now children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing? Student: Brotherly love!

· Teacher: Now, Sam, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating? Sam : No, sir, I don’t have to, my Mom is a good cook.

· No one has ever complained of a parachute not opening.