ONE LINERS!!! TOO GOOD!!!

One Liners!!! Too Good!!!

·         Dad: Son, what do you want for your birthday? Son: Not much, Dad, just a radio with a sports car around it!

·         Living on Earth may be expensive, but it includes annual free trip around the Sun.

 

·         Your future depends on your dreams, so go to sleep.


·         Can you do anything that other people can’t? Sure, I can read my handwriting!
·         A drunk was hauled into court. “Mister,” the judge began, “you’ve been brought here for drinking.” “Great,” the drunk exclaimed, “When do we get started?”

·         Whom are you working for? Same people. My wife and four kids.

·         Alcohol kills slowly. So what? Who is in a hurry?

·         Work fascinates me. I can look at it for hours!

·         God made relatives; thank God, we can choose our friends!

·   I heard you have a cat that can say her own name. Yes, Meow.

·         Divorce has become so common that my wife and I are staying married just to be different.

·         When a wife was asked, “What book does you like best?” she answers: “My husband’s cheque book.”

·         Girlfriend: “And are you sure you love me and no one else?”  Boyfriend: “Dead sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday.”


·         Waiter: Would you like your coffee black? Customer: What other colours do you have?

 


·         My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called current affairs.

·         Teacher: Now children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing? Student: Brotherly love!

 

·         Teacher: Now, Sam, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating? Sam : No, sir, I don’t have to, my Mom is a good cook.


·         No one has ever complained of a parachute not opening.

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